


Blame the Stress

by inamamagic



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Contains a major spoiler for 2x09, F/F, The general cast is a part of this but they're all just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 19:56:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5883574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inamamagic/pseuds/inamamagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times that Jane kisses Petra, and the one time Petra kisses Jane. One of these times may not count as a literal time.</p><p>Contains a major spoiler for episode 2x09, but otherwise mostly canon divergent.</p><p>(Rated M to be safe. Written during the airing of S2)</p><p>(Taken from femslashrevolution's Femslash February prompts list - 5 + 1)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame the Stress

_One_

Jane blames the stress. There’s really no other explanation. Juggling a new baby, two guys, and grad school is enough to make a girl's head spin.

Even so, she’s never gone and done something this outrageous. Not when sober anyway.

She’s helping Petra get ready for her wedding with Milos, wishing there was something she could say or do to convince her to change her mind, but Petra is staring at her own expression in the mirror, straight backed and glassy eyed, and Jane’s heart just breaks a little bit. Just because she and Petra don’t get along too well, doesn’t mean she wants her to be miserable.

As she continues to braid Petra’s soft hair, Jane becomes acutely aware that she is giving her mixed feelings towards Petra her undivided attention for once, and begins to question whether this is simply caring, or something more.

It’s not like she hasn’t noticed that Petra is gorgeous. God knows it was the first thing she noticed about her. But with Petra being so antagonistic and Jane being so overwhelmed with the pregnancy, and then Mateo, and not to mention Michael and Rafael, she’d dismissed her flutterings as nothing more than hormones gone haywire.

But it can’t be that anymore, surely not. So how can she explain the skittering her heart does when Petra meets her eyes in the mirror and gives her a tiny smile?

It’s stress, plain and simple. It cannot be more than that.

Jane finishes Petra’s hair and helps her keep her headpiece in place. Petra stands up and smiles graciously, but all Jane can think about are her sad blue eyes, and how much she just wants to make her smile properly.

For some reason, she decides that kissing her will be the best way to fix everything, and before she can stop herself, she’s on her toes, her lips against Petra’s.

Two seconds of tender bliss – and then Jane is doused in a freezing shower of realisation. She snaps back to her senses and pulls away quickly, stammering an apology.

Petra blinks for a moment, her face blank and uncomprehending, and Jane’s face is burning as she braces herself for the worst.

But then, Petra’s face breaks into a real smile, and her shining eyes are enough to sucker punch Jane right into a minefield of feelings she never dreamed existed.

 

_Two_

They’re in Rafael’s suite for some reason, and it’s oddly empty, but Jane’s not too fussed about the whys or the hows, she’s just happy to be sitting on the couch with Petra, drinking martinis and dressed to the nines. When you’re having fun and the company is good, reasons become irrelevant.

Petra laughs at something Jane says, her blue eyes crinkling and twinkling, her face glowing as she raises a glass to their children, and Jane holds up her own glass, clinks it, but instead of drinking, leans in and kisses her.

Petra responds with such enthusiasm that Jane drops her own glass, but all thoughts of the ruined rug are forgotten as she tugs against Petra’s dress, her hands slipping and sliding against the gold satin, desperately trying to pull her closer than what’s physically possible, because she needs her here and now and god help her if she doesn’t take full advantage of the situation.

Petra’s skin is hot and smooth as it slides across Jane’s, her fingers sliding down the back of her dress, locking her close and undoing her zip as her lips trail over Jane’s jawline, every kiss is a shock, a spark that sends Jane into a dizzying fever, she sighs and fists Petra’s hair –

\- her zipper’s undone now and her dress is sliding down her sleeves, and Jane tugs Petra’s zipper down, and the dress slides off her like a shining gold skin revealing the slender, sensuous form underneath.

Petra pushes her back on the couch and flips her hair over her shoulder before moving down, her hands dragging Jane’s dress down with her, and Jane has to put a fist over her mouth to keep from making a sound as Petra’s cold fingers slide into her hot center -

\- and then Jane’s panties are off in one fell swoop and Petra’s eyes are gleaming as she places slow and gentle kisses on Jane’s stomach sending sharp shocks right through her, and then her tongue comes out and Jane can’t help but shudder under Petra’s mouth –

And she wakes up with a shudder and a fast fading tingling between her legs.

The room is cool, dark and quiet, and Mateo is sound asleep. Jane takes deep breaths and tries to steady her breathing. Her face is burning and Petra’s face is still vivid in her mind’s eye.

As tranquil as everything is, she can’t ignore the growing cloud of disappointment as she tries to go back to sleep.

 

_Three_

They’re discussing Rafael and the babies long after everyone has gone to bed. They’re in Jane’s room. Petra's sleeping over. It’s become routine now. After spending Saturdays together with the children, Petra sleeps over and stays till Sunday afternoon, and occasionally, Sunday night.

The twins are set up in a portable cot next to Mateo, and she and Jane are giggling and whispering in bed like a couple of teenagers. Petra says something that makes them both laugh, and she slips her fingers through Jane’s. Her longer, rougher hand feels comfortable in Jane’s small smooth one. Her bright eyes are filled with so much life that Jane wonders if this is the same person she’d met just two and a half years ago, right at the beginning of all the mayhem. That Petra was a fortress. This one is more open, almost like a wide open field in comparison. Softer, gentler, more... human.

And it’s this human that Jane is falling in love with.

Their laughter subsides and they lapse into a comfortable silence. A streak of light falls into the room through the crack in the curtains. Petra stares at the ceiling. Jane stares at Petra.

And for the first time since that silly first kiss right before Petra’s wedding to Milos, Jane leans in and kisses her again.

It’s different this time. Mostly because Jane isn’t stressed out. And there’s no threat of Milos. And she isn’t stuck in the middle of two guys. Michael isn’t in the picture anymore. Rafael is very definitely out of both their pictures, except as a friend and co-parent to their children.

But the biggest difference this time is that Petra kisses back.

Jane doesn’t know how long they kiss for, but she does know that they fall asleep holding hands.

 

_Four_

She should’ve known that normal was never going to be a part of her life. Not since Luisa accidentally inseminated her. Not since she found out that Rogelio de la Vega was her father.

And certainly not since her ex-boyfriend’s step-mother and mother had turned out to be major international crime bosses.

It’s a breezy Saturday afternoon. The children are away for the weekend with Rafael and his girlfriend, and Jane and Petra are having lunch at the Marbella. Jane refuses to call it a date because Petra won’t call it a date. As bothered as she is about this, the shot ringing out across the quiet restaurant shoots this thought clean out of her head.

Jane’s life practically flashes before her eyes and her first instinct is to look for Mateo before she realises that he is not there. She barely has a moment to be thankful before Petra grabs her and drags her to a back stairwell, her nails digging into Jane’s skin as she urges her on. The thunder of additional shots sound behind them, each one engulfing Jane in a suffocating blanket of terror. Her lungs burn as they run, but instead of exiting the hotel premises, Petra pulls her into a supply closet and pushes a shelf against the door. They sink to the floor and hold each other, trying to stifle their sobs and stay as quiet and still as possible.

The police only find them when Michael calls Jane to find out where she is. They manage to stand and pull the shelf away, and Jane stumbles out into Michael’s arms. As she’s escorted out of the hotel, she catches sight of a splatter of blood on the clean white tiles and promptly throws up all over Michael’s shoes.

After a night at the hospital, Jane doesn’t hear from Petra. Her phone is switched off, and she doesn’t respond to any of her emails. After the third night when she wakes up screaming, Jane stops talking.

Jane lies in bed, staring at nothing, unable to touch anyone, not even Mateo, not even when he cries. Xiomara and Alba are at their wits end, and Rogelio tries to bring in a dozen celebrity doctors as he hovers anxiously around the door to her room. Rafael and Michael keep visiting to check up on her, trying to get her to eat a little more, move a little, talk a little.

Two weeks later, she’s still lying in bed with the lights off and curtains drawn, eyes wide open when there’s a soft knock on the door. She gasps, but then notices a slimmer, lighter skinned figure standing by the door, and something inside her breaks open.

She cries in Petra’s arms for hours and hours, and Petra in turn, clings to Jane, cold and still, like a dead thing reminiscent of the closed up woman she used to be. Jane can only hold on tighter, hoping to bring back the person she loves, but she remains trapped behind her steely blue gaze.

And for the first time in a long time, Petra doesn’t kiss back.

 

_Five_

Slowly but surely, things return back to normal. Or as normal as things can get anyway. Petra and Jane are speaking again (and more, of course), but Jane begins to feel a kind of emotional exhaustion that she hasn’t felt since the old days of shuffling between Michael and Rafael.

Petra is… present… to an extent anyway, going as far as to actually begin to publicly acknowledge it in front of everyone (a night that had left Jane’s eyes streaming with happy tears). But emotionally, she's more distant than ever. Jane attributes this to the trauma of the shooting – six months isn’t nearly enough to get over something like that. Goodness knows she’s still paranoid about letting Mateo out in public, especially now that he’s old enough to be able to run farther and faster.

But then she begins to wonder if it isn’t something else. After all, Petra is acting perfectly normally around other people; she’s affectionate as ever with Mateo, and she’s even close to Alba and Xo, so _why_ isn’t she extending the same courtesy to Jane?

One evening, after another difficult date at Petra’s apartment, Jane cracks. All the resentment and irritation she’s been bottling up comes pouring out in an endless rage and she demands that Petra decide whether she wants in or not, because she’s tired of being strung around like she’s a phase, _she’s not a phase goddammit_ , she’s someone that deserve to know whether her partner can and will be there for her and Mateo through everything, and won’t just up and leave at the slightest provocation.

Petra takes all this in, stone faced and cold eyed, and this infuriates Jane even more. She slams her fist on the table and screams in Petra’s face, and Petra finally snaps, accusing Jane of not trusting her, of not knowing her well enough after all these years, of not being patient or understanding, and soon enough, both of them are sobbing because after three years of struggling, everything they’ve built has just come crashing down.

Even through all her anger, all the hurt and her tears, Jane wants nothing more than to kiss Petra one last time, a dramatic, hair-blowing-in-the-wind sort of telenovela gesture with heart wrenching music playing in the background.

The reality is quicker and infinitely more painful. Jane gives Petra a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the apartment.

 

_Six_

Two days later, Petra shows up on her doorstep. Not with Jane’s stuff, as expected, but with flowers.

Jane teeters on the doorstep for a whole minute, but Petra’s pleading eyes melt her heart, and she agrees to talk.

They sit on the swing, and Jane braces herself for the worst. How can flowers fix this? How can anything fix this?

Petra sets the flowers aside and starts with an apology, a move which is uncharacteristic enough to cause Jane to wonder whether this can be salvaged after all. As they continue to talk, it seems like things can be worked out, and she begins to feel more at ease.

What she doesn’t expect though, is for Petra to propose an idea that sounds so wild that Jane’s first reaction is to laugh.

What she doesn’t expect is to realise is that Petra’s proposal is actually perhaps something that might actually work well for the both of them.

What she doesn’t expect, is for Petra to propose.

It takes a while for Jane to fully understand what’s going on, and when she does, even though she finds it logical and practical, she hesitates. Her heart says yes, definitely yes, it’s screaming yes, but the answer keeps getting stuck somewhere on the way to her tongue.

Jane blames the stress.

When Petra kisses her, the yeses start tumbling out.

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose the only real author's note is this: how does one really pluralise the word yes?
> 
> Please feel free to point out any errors if you find them. Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
